this time it's all that I've got/words hit the page like gunshots

well, I leave in 10 days. it's getting closer and the more I try not to stress the more I feel like pulling my hair out.
ah well. it'll all pull together. I just wish I spoke Hindi a lot better than I do.....











but what I really wanted to write about was camp. I decided I don't like coming to my page and seeing I AM SO DEPRESSED first thing. so I may as well drag myself out of the pit of despair and try to remember the amazing happiness of last week. however painful it may be not to have it anymore. :(
so, here goes.


breathe it deep and say goodbye
the saddest song I'll ever write for anyone, anytime
breathe it deep before I say
I can feel it slip away
You're almost gone
You're good as gone
August is over


from now on, Tom Bombadil will always remind me of Goat Peak. muffins, of Ode to Joy (or, for Anna's benefit, Beethoven's 9th). dolphins........well, you know.



the last night and the last morning were the best, for me. even though the whole field idea didn't work out quite the way we expected, it was still amazing. thank you so much Jacob, for organizing it. I still can't quite believe you got permission to do it!
and then the hike...waking up at 5:30 instead of 5:00 and getting dressed in a rush in order to be there in time for sunrise. seeing a deer - who btw gave us a very queer look as we started up the mountain - poor Sarah getting sick half way up, and then freaking us out but finally joining us at the top. that view, that sunrise. granola bars.
getting my shoes full of dirt coming back down.

trying to sing alto and ending up playing the bass part on piano for the organ voicing instead.

daydreaming with everyone about the rainstorm and how we would run, skip, dance, sing, and jump in it, during chapel. I'm sure nobody paid any attention to what poor Pastor McFaul said during that session.
and then of course the rain would stop before chapel got out.
so then of course we would jump in the puddles late that night....sneaking out of snack time and speed stacking. or at least it felt like sneaking out. I'm pretty sure we were supposed to be in there...
but it was just TOO noisy.



a late-night really intimate talk with God.



getting shushed by Mrs. Busby about ten times the first night....and only stopping when she finally came over to stop us forcibly. :(


"children and mud puddles....I know nothing!"


oh man the skits were so fantastic this year! and all the inside jokes that came from them as well. and for those of you who have seen it on facebook, the perfectly blasphemous Dolphin shorter catchecism. I believe I butchered the spelling on that.
thank you Jacob, so much, for the CD's. =) and for apologizing for everything last week. it's your fault, you know.

oh yes, and I'm really sorry you got in trouble for the morning hike. that sucks.
but it was worth it. :D



we're off to see the Wizard,
the Wonderful Wizard of Ounce!
we hear she is a whiz of a Wiz,
with gallons of magical bounce!
if ever oh ever a Wiz there was
the Wizard of Ounce is one because
because, because, because, because, BECAUSE!!!!!!
because of the measurement things she does! (da DA DA da DA DA da DA - dum!)
we're off to see the Wizard,
the Wonderful Wizard of Ounce!!!!



me and Caity being terrified of ohmys all week. and Anna kept lying and saying there were ohmys about when there really weren't.
*sticks tongue out at Anna*



seeing Jacob and Sarah and Crystal, and all those other people we never get to see except at camp.

and Lucy showing up that morning.....I nearly died, lol. I was SO surprised!!!!

hot chocolate, oh so rich hot chocolate, every morning at breakfast.

pretending that first long stretch on Goat Peak was Mt. Doom, and everyone deciding they were so-and-so from LotR. and me eventually giving up on Pippin because I don't have the stamina of a hobbit.
and Anna kept telling me to "think Caradhras, not Mt. Doom!" I've got news for you dear, it didn't work. maybe if there had been snow up there this year, then it would have worked.
but of course there wasn't.
'twas brillig, and the slithy tove
did gire and gimble in the wabe
all mimsy were the borogove
and the mome raths outgrabe

can you guys believe that we tied on the 2nd story window game???? I was so surprised!! we all kept messing up though and it was just so hilarious by the end...
especially when Becca absolutely saved our lives by singing Hickory Dickory Dock all by herself. that was pretty amazing.
and I <3 baby shark.
and I wish Libby had been there to do the Banana Split song. because only she can, really.



singing all the way over the pass on the ride back. and stopping because our ears were popping so we couldn't hear ourselves. and not singing more later because we were too busy talking.
begging Pastor Harris to "accidently miss" the exit to the church, so that we'd have to stay in the van longer.
pulling into the parking lot and still not wanting to get out of the van. we might let the time warp magic out. we might find real life waiting outside, ready and lying in wait to smack us in the face. we might find eager parents wanting to pull us all away from each other, with the very best of intentions.
we did find. we did.








reading Great Expectations after midnight by the light of a glowstick. knowing I'd be up in five hours to see the sunrise. still....not tired.

celebrating Lucy's birthday and my half-birthday and the start of camp hope all on the same day, and not forgetting my parents' anniversary.

buying candy that I didn't even have time to eat.

writing in everyone's books....trying to keep track of mine and hand the one I'd just finished signing back to the right person. it almost worked.



I am the Wicked Witch of the West. You killed my sister - prepare to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!



*sigh* some things aren't made to last. if they did, they wouldn't be so special.
it just makes it hard to leave, to stop. to say goodbye.



at the shrine of friendship never say die
let the wine of friendship never run dry
here's to you
and here's
to me




I swear, Camp Hope is a wormhole. a time warp. it makes us all kids again. never mind drama - it can still be there. it's gonna have a place, no matter what. but we wave goodbye to responsibility for five days. the only thing you really have to worry about is the common sense stuff. don't do anything stupid and you won't get in trouble.
well.....
.......define stupid......

anyway
maybe that's why coming back is so stressful. all of a sudden, BAM! here comes that responsibility you left at home. and you remember what a teenager is. not a kid, but someone turning into an adult. and turning into an adult takes a ton of work. thank God for the five days of the year when we get to be all together, with nobody reminding us about real life.
real life. who needs it anyway?

take me down to the river like a little child
take my hand and tell me its okay to be wild
I never knew the world until I saw through your eyes
I never knew my self until I ripped off my disguise

I'm drowing
but I don't care
'cause when you've got what I got
what I got
who needs air?


















all this to say, then:
THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE CAMP HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!