this song was meant for you/it had a happy ending/but you had to change your mind/I don't know what happened

I feel incredibly stuck.

I have never been a conformist. I HATE conforming. so now.....do I go along with my English class, write tiny little sentances, 14 per paragraph, follow format, don't deviate from the plan, and keep up my grades? or do I pretend I'm a Dead Poet and break all the rules and try my best to write an amazing paper?

I mean, I know I can write better than this, if I could just have a little freedom, some wiggle room. what we're doing is stupid. period. paragraph.

*sigh* I hate compromise too. and....I think I will stop complaining right about now.

I am sore, but it's that good kind of sore, the kind you get from working out when you know you need it. so I don't think that qualifies as complaining.

I'm re-reading the Count of Monte Cristo. it's so much more amazing than it was the first time! and I'm finding myself making so many comparisons/contrasts between Les Mis and CoMC. like-

- It's ok to have a hero who is flawed. perfect heroes are boring. heroes with mistakes and weaknesses are people you can identify with, and feel with. Jean Valjean was a convict, and he really was guilty, though he sinned with near-to-justifiable reason (is that blasphemy?). Edmond Dantes just tried to commit suicide, and will later discount God and religion, and take vengeance and justice into his own hands.

-Speaking of justice, is it better to sin out of a desire for perfect justice, or out of ambitious pursuit? Javert was totally all over bringing Valjean to justice - he left mercy out of the picture. But I'm more inclined to cut him some slack than Villefort, who sacrificed Dantes whole career and drove him to the state he's in, all for his own ambition and status. At least Javert was open to the law; I mean, he would've died, willingly, at the hands of the law if he thought he deserved it. Villefort spent his time hiding from the law. but in the end, the law isn't the high, pure standard - it's just as corrupt as the men who make it.

-Isn't it odd, and rather awkward, to read something in which the hero is more to the Jacobin side, and the villains are all Royalists? strange, to say the least.

-And lastly, there like five different bad guys in CoMC, and they all have different motives. I find that fascinating. Villefort - ambition in legal status. Danglar - envy, strife with Dantes in his career. Fernand - poor guy couldn't see past his own love for Mercedes, twisted though it was; total rivalry, no chivalry. Combferre - I really don't see why Dantes went after him, he was just to scared to say anything, and personally I don't blame him.

anyway, my humble and rather O.T. (off topic) (as my English teacher would say) thoughts on this amazing book.

oh yeah, I guess I have some homework....English homework....I shall return at a future date.

(and if I never come back that means I just didn't make it through English. no fighting over the piano - just do rock-paper-scissors or something.)