a true friend is the one who walks in when everybody else walks out

so. (or rather, hwaet!)
you're having a bad day. seventh time this week.
still.
I wish there was something I could do
other than crying with you.
lately it seems to be more down days than up.
all I can say is I know.
it's frustrating, and it's depressing.
and no one knows just what's wrong.
all we want to do is fix it, make the pain go away.
you'll call the doctor again in the morning,
appointment on wednesday,
therapy thursday.
my phone is on for whenever you need me.
when you and I aren't talking we'll spend our time
asking the same person the same question:
Why?

and are you really there?
and do you really care?
and why did you let this happen
or that happen?

and sometimes, we don't even want to know the end,
because how could the end be happy?

but even though I am a teen and we've both got our emotional problems
it feels like the weight of the whole entire world,
and it hasn't gone away in a long, long time.

some days it really does scare me, what you tell me.
it's almost never good.
the rest of the time I just worry like crazy
while I hear worry's a sin from everybody else.

deep down, of course I know
He's there
He cares
He's got a reason
I remind you and me a lot.
and I'm praying like crazy to make some sort of sense.
and trying to look calm, and really, honestly, trying not to worry.


but it's so hard not to worry when you can't see the end and it doesn't feel like God's got control.