"the night is darkest just before the dawn. and I promise you - the dawn is coming. "
I think, today, a dawn finally came. I walked out of the tunnel. and I wasn't blinded by the light...there wasn't a ton of light there. but instead of the middle of the night it feels more like that hour just before the dawn....it isn't really bright yet. but it's not so dark anymore.
and I hate sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I mean, I'm not even the one with complaints. it just seems like so many of my friends are having such a rough time; and it definitely affects me. I have so much to be happy about though. I'm trying so hard to stay positive. I think sometimes I just lose sight and can't keep my head above water anymore. so yesterday I was going under, and I decided to do something about it.
I called a friend I hadn't talked to in a long time. I called him at work, I surprised him, and we talked for about half an hour. he wanted to know lots of stuff that was going on, so I focused on the positive - and then I realized how much positive there was. and it worked.
today, the sun came out, just a little bit. I think I can keep going. keep it positive...especially for some special people I know who don't have a lot of positive right now.
and I thought of this movie that I hadn't seen in a long time. there's one part in it where the main character is down and out, and about to give up. but his very best friend gives a brilliant, inspirational speech that keeps him going for one more day. we all know, after all, that Frodo wouldn't have got far without Sam.
It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here.
But we are.
It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy?
How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened?
But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why.
But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
What are we holding onto, Sam?
There's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.
worth fighting for.
i've been so upset lately cause my friend amanda just broke up with her first boyfriend. and it's not just that they broke up, but they keep talking and he's just using her and he's been a jerk about the whole thing and she won't stop holding onto him and
ReplyDeletei just want to hit something, you know? not her, because i'm upset about her, but why doesn't she stop? it's hurting her so much.
there's some good in this world, but sometimes it's like
where the heck is it? why aren't you here God? she's hurting now, and i can't help her, and nobody can help her but You.
how can you expect to win this war/when you're too afraid to fight
i think sometimes i am just too afraid to fight. culture gets me down and friends hold me back and it's hard to fight whatever's bringing you down.
yeah....it's hard to say anything to that. but I do know how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI think we Christians hate admitting (it sounds blasphemous) that it's FRUSTRATING sometimes when the only thing we can do is pray. we know that prayer is supposed to be the most powerful thing of all.
but to be honest with ourselves, it doesn't always FEEL that way. it's still true, but it doesn't feel true.
and we want to be able to do something ourselves.
but when we honestly can't do a thing, that's when we grow up and learn how to trust God just a tiny bit more.
I love that quote from LOTR!!!!!!!!!!! I know what you mean, but how do you hold on to the positive side of life when things that you thought you know are crashing around you?
ReplyDeletewhen I figure that out I'll let you know.
ReplyDeleteI imagine it won't be until I'm an adult. at least, not a teenager anymore.
but I don't know many adults who have it down either. the ones who seem to keep everything together though, are the reall strong Christians.
just an observation. :)
Love the quote, and OMG is your title form Holly Dolly???
ReplyDeleteYour point about strong Christians being the ones who seem to be happy go lucky, but everyone, EVERYONE has struggles and things bringing them down and making them cry, and of course being right with the Lord if really going to make it easier, or at least you'll find more comfort that way; but there is a time for everything, and everything in it's time. Ecclesiastes 3.
Sometimes, you're just, sad. And so long as it's not self pity, that's ok.
HAhaha, I meant Hello Dolly.
ReplyDelete