"rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something."

life, lately, is:

School.

Piano.

School.

Piano.

Repeat.

but I mean, really, it's kind of fun. I have so many friends at school it's ridiculous. between Shakespeare (which is now a club every thursday!) and choir I'm always seeing somebody or hanging out with someone from school. not too many really close friendships, but it's nice to have some casual friends. I've always had close friendships, which I still treasure - but it's the casual friendships that make the daily grind somewhat fun, when your dearest friends are far away.

In short, I'm enjoying school slighly more than I used to. Though choir is getting a little stressful because of all the piano stuff I'm playing.

We had a student recital today and I played the Chopin waltz I played at my recital last year. It was....ok. Actually it went quite well, just in my mind it wasn't so good. I messed up a couple of easy parts, but nailed all the hard parts. So overall I felt pretty satisfied with the performance. I also accompanied a girl on an Italian aria, and it was beautiful! She asked me two days ago if I could do it, got me the music yesterday, and we ran through it about four times this morning during our free hour. It went extremely well and no one would have guessed we scraped it together last minute.

There were ten other performances besides mine - a few pianists (Chopin, Chopin, and Chopin - we know who is the best!), several vocalists (mostly from the jazz band, and they were are REALLY good), and a violinist. It lasted exactly 50 minutes, and we all had a good time. My mom felt the need to come, and my friend Becca came to earn extra credit for two seperate music classes, and my friend Tanya came because I usually work out with her at the same time so she came to the recital instead. Fun times.

I'm trying to figure out how to be less nervous. The only reason I made mistakes today was because I was nervous. I get shaky and my fingers go half-way numb. This makes it more than difficult to play, obviously. Before my May recital I need to play my pieces in front of some people, and try to at least make this better, if not get over it completely.

*sigh* Other than that, it's mostly piano, and occasionally church stuff. My mom says I'm practicing too much and I can't do this for the next three months. I say there's no way I'm gonna get Rhapsody in Blue down if I practice any less. We are at an impass. things may be rocky tomorrow.

This weekend is my youth group's snow retreat - there won't be any snow where we're going, so it became a winter retreat. If the weather is anything like it has been the past few weeks, we're gonna change the name to spring retreat. ;)

My worship leader is in charge of the whole thing. I find it humorous that we're supposed to be on worship this weekend, but he and I are both gone, and so is our guitarist. Then we discover that two of our vocalists will be gone as well. The other worship leader is going to take over and do some kind of awesome accoustic set - I'm slightly jealous. And actually, all the worship teams have been just incredible for the past several weeks. I praise God so much when I just think about the inredible talent He has placed within our church. We aren't a megachurch, yet we have three extremely gifted worship teams. I've been so blessed to be a part of one of them. Our music is online with the sermon every week now, and I like to just listen to some of it during my own quiet times with God during the week. This church is family to me.....

Roger (my worship leader) has been talking about the heart, nonstop, for the past two months. I'll make a post about that stuff soon....it could go on for a long time. :P

On the flipside of everything, my youth group is kind of falling apart. sort of. starting last week, we have now combined the jr. and sr. high youth groups into one big group. Roger couldn't keep leading us forever, which is really too bad because we were starting to come together and grow with him at the helm. but he is already so busy at the church, so the time had come (the walrus said) to move on and make changes.

again. more changes.

so now Sean, the jr. high leader, is the leader of all. I'm not sure yet how I'll like it. we do have a bigger, more skilled worship team now, which takes some of the stress off of me. but I need to give it some more time. I know right now everything in me is rebelling to the change aspect of it, but it may indeed turn out to be a good thing. it's just so hard to actively engage kids from 6th all the way through 12th grade. when you're only going to be around until June, you wonder if it's worth a lot of effort anymore? we'll see......week #2 is tomorrow night.

and Shakespeare Club is tomorrow too! I was totally right, it is keeping me sane this quarter. Although it takes up a couple of precious hours I already don't have on Thursday, it's a necessary thing. Laughter with friends is too important. Exit, pursued by a bear. And according to Nick, a bear makes a sound like a wookie (complete with demonstration). okay then.............

Oh yes. I am learning how to say no to things. I have successfully said no to two things that I could have squeezed in but wouldn't have done well at. My stress level, instead of rising, is somewhere between remaining static and dropping slightly. I'll feel better when Rhapsody pulls together a bit more, but for now, things are just ok.

My teacher wants me to play Bach. I think I'm going to tell her no. I can't handle Bach right now.

Alright. it is getting late, my body needs sleep. goodnight, my dear friends! I am busy, but I have not forgotten you. I love blogging. I love all of you. I will return soon.