some new stuff

1. my mom has a severe cold. she sounds like she's on death's door most of the time. actually, she sounds like Bilbo Baggins after riding the barrels all the way to Dale, when he says "thank you very much" like "thag you bery buch."

2. speaking of Bilbo, I'm trying to decide if I should tackle Crime and Punishment next, or re-read the Hobbit. I know two people who are reading the Hobbit right now, so I'm thinking it might be a sign. I may save Crime and Punishment for Christmas break. never mind the fact that I don't have time for either, because we're starting a new novel in my online english class and a new play in my on-campus one. and I ought to be reading both of those right now, but instead I am blogging away, because it's much more fun and like I said before, I just need to write. I stayed up super-late last night writing just about everything that needed to come out, and I feel so much better for it today.

3. went to Mars Hill with Anna tonight, and it was a really awesome service. their band is truly amazing. I wish my church did hymns like that.

4. getting cold feet about going to Europe for such a long time, and wondering if it's worth it to do nothing but work between now and then, just to be gone forever. seriously thinking about shortening my trip A LOT, and enjoying my very last year at home. it's so hard to think about leaving in a year - leaving for good. I mean, I'll be back home occasionally, but when I think of Europe, and then college in another state, and then India for the foreseeable future, I don't even want to think about working every spare hour this whole year, and missing the last part of my life at home. I have to talk to my parents about this. I'm longing for some kind of normality though. I'd like for my Christmas wish list to having CDs and piano music and normal stuff on it, instead of the giant list of backpacking things that I need but can't afford.

5. loving and hating life. I love to be home, I hate to be micromanaged. It's a trade-off though, I guess. it could be a lot worse.

6. I'm coming back to God after a long absense. it's so refreshing. I hate dry spells, don't you? but perhaps that's what makes coming back so absolutely perfect. I wish I could be like so many other people though, who seem to have it mostly together.

7. I think I prize raw honesty above everything else. the people I admire most in my life right now are incredibly screwed-up individuals who are NOT the models of a perfect Christian, but who admit it and humbly ask for help. they are rough-around-the-edges people who give 100% or nothing at all. but they are super-encouraging to me, and I know when I ask 'how are you?' I'm going to get the truth in response. I love this. REAL people - such a novel concept....

8. I had a major breakthrough with something personal this weekend. I don't really want to talk about details, but I know it had a lot to do with my spiritual dry-ness, and so through lots of writing and a few deep conversations with God, I'm feeling like I'm coming out of it. It's really amazing and I'm just so glad it's over. I've been an emotional mess for a few weeks now because of it, so it's good to be able to start looking at it as something that's over, instead of something I'm in the middle of.

9. I'm incredibly excited for Christmas!!!!!!!!! and my brain has finally started working, and I'm finally starting to come up with some gift ideas for people. this is exciting, because it means I can start shopping. my Christmas break is looking long and empty. I'm having visions of hot chocolate, blankets, and books. and sugar plums, of course.

10. is it raining out there? it's raining in here. Seriously though, it started pouring out in Enumclaw Thursday night at the end of youth group, and it's been pouring off and on ever since. I'm rather enjoying it, when I get to stay inside and just listen to it. hoping it stays away during my walks to/from school though....

11. I think 10 is enough for now. I really need to go read Act 1 of King Lear because we're talking about it in class in 10 1/2 hours. and I need to read this other book for my other class, because I have an assignment due on the first half of it on Tuesday, and I've only read chapter 1 so far. I hate this professor though, he said he'd post our assignment over the weekend, and is it up yet? no......

12. I'll stop complaining now and go do my work.



hearts and hugs to everyone - I love you guys!