a different kind of christmas carol/a different kind of happily ever after

you know how it is. you have a dream - something you've had ever since childhood - and it:

a) gets crushed

b) comes true and you live happily ever after

c) sits in the background while you grow up and forget about it

d) you mean childhood is over?

I was thinking just today about one of those dreams I had forever. well, since the second or third time I read A Christmas Carol, I guess (which really wasn't that long ago, come to think of it). I always wanted to do my own production of A Christmas Carol. Like, just live it for a whole fall and winter. maybe it's the Christmas thing that comes over me at this time of year, and how I want a really good excuse to live and breathe Christmas starting in September and ending in January sometime.

I know, I know. OMG is October 2nd and Kacy's already talking about Christmas?!?!? well....yeah. I am.

I'm incredibly excited for Christmas.

and I'm incredibly excited for A Christmas Carol to once again be a part of my life.

so today, I was just kind of remembering this idea I've had forever in my head. It was always there. I'd direct it, so it would be just the way Dickens wanted it, and just the way I see it in my head. no more screwed-up interpretations or tragically-cut lines. and I'd compose the music, of course, so that it would be just perfect and Christmasy. And I'd figure out amazing Victorian costumes. And I'd give all the actors and actresses voice coaching so they'd have proper British accents, and not sound all fake, but would really truly become part of their Victorian clothes, like the Dickens Carolers who so fascinated me in the lobby at the Nutcracker. And then I'd act something too - not Scrooge or anything major like that, but some small yet meaningful part. maybe Scrooge's nephew's wife, or her sister who is obviously in love with the single young man, or maybe Scrooge's young lover at Phezziwig's party, with lots of amazing dancing just like Pride and Prejudice - except Victorian dancing.

there are, of course, a few small problems with this dream/idea/whatever you want to call it. I mean, I've never directed a thing. and I can't act, really. and I don't compose music. and I can't even do a passable British accent, much less give voice coaching. and while I like to look at Victorian costumes, I probably would have a really hard time coming up with a bunch of them.

but besides that, isn't it a great idea?

lol, I don't know why I wrote it up here, I just was thinking about it and thought I'd put it up.

but anyway, we may be going to see ACT's A Christmas Carol this year. I'm going to talk to my grandparents. we're possibly going to break tradition *gasp* and go see it instead of the Nutcracker (which we've seriously gone to see every year since I was two). I love the Nutcracker and everything, but I really want to see A Christmas Carol, and so I'm really hoping it works out. the more I think about the it the more merry and Christmasy I become!

so. what else has been happening, you ask? let's see.....

we finished Persuasion. IT. WAS. AMAZING. I read it before and seriously didn't get it. unfortunately, most of my class didn't get it this time, which is extremely frustrating. I'm running around (virtually, of course - this is an online class) trying to pound reason into all their heads telling them they've completely got the wrong idea of Anne. but anyway.....enough of that. it was really cool, and I enjoyed reading it and writing about it.

we've just started Notes From the Underground, by Dostoevsky. and drat it, though I know From shouldn't be capitalized, I keep doing it anyway, because it just seems like it should be. I mean - it's too long to be lower-case, right?

anyway. this book is stinking awesome! I read the first four chapters and then I was like, huh?? I seriously don't get this. so I read the next seven chapters (Part I of the book) because it was assigned. and then I did a ton of research on Russian philosophy and Englightenment and all the -isms, and so now I'm feeling very smart and I'm kind of excited to write about it. but now I want to go re-read what I've already read to try and understand it better. philosophy is really very confusing, given in such large doses to someone who isn't used to it.

oh, that and the fact that the censors removed a large and absolutely crucial chunk at the end of the book, where Dostoevsky pointed to Christ as the only alternative. so basically, unless you mega-reasearch this book, there's no possibly way to understand it.

which should make the forum discussions quite interesting and - dare I say it - humorous.

:D I'm so mean.

Shakespeare is still really cool. and we're still in Taming of the Shrew. there's no possible way we're getting through all five plays this quarter, and I'm seriously hoping we don't make it to Titus Andronicus.

but I am looking forward to Richard III, which comes next. it should be pretty awesome. I've got the right teacher and the right class for it.

oh yes, and instead of turning in big long papers for this class, we get to write a long, informal, very convoluted and rabbit-trailed blog post every week. is this not the most perfect arrangement ever epiphanized? (yes, I did make that word up. were you wondering?)

French class at the high school sucks. on wednesday we spent at least half of class time (no joke) watching a video of one boy in our class who got hypnotized at the Puyallup fair. the rest of class time was spent collecting cell phones, shifting seat positions, and correcting homework. not one single new thing was introduced. then yesterday we finished watching this video for a good ten minutes, finished going over the homework, and played one round of a game to work on the passe compose tense.

which is ridiculous because not only do I already know the passe compose, but it's the ONLY thing we've talked about for the last week and a half I've been in this class. seriously - THE ONLY THING.

so Cosi and I have come up with a simple yet genius arrangement: she's going to teach me German during French class. and we're going to read some French books to try and learn new words. and we're going to attemp tic tac toe with five spaces across and down instead of three. more like Bingo and not so.....predictable and boring.

oh, which reminds me - at youth group last night we played human checkers. it was amazing! (I'm using that word a lot, aren't I?) anyway, my team won, and I did the last two jumps, and it was super-duper fun. and when we got kinged we got taped with masking tape (did I mention we were wearing black or white garbage bags to denote which teams we were on?).

this weekend I'm on worship. I met with Roger last night to go over the music, because I haven't played in the bad in two months and I feel so uncreative...I feel like I've gone backwards a lot in my keyboarding skills. which is frustrating. and once again, I feel inferior and I know this will only hinder me from being used by God at all this weekend. because if I feel inferior I won't take risks and I won't be comfortable - I'll just be thinking about how everyone else is a better musician than me.

so Roger gave me a pep talk and took some of the hard musical stressy stuff away, and told me in general not to worry. "we're just gonna focus on you being back, and have fun this weekend," he told me. the team really truly missed me while I was gone, and I missed them so so SO much as well. I'm really looking forward to this weekend.

but anyway, I still have stuff to do and I want to actually get some sleep tonight. so (man this post got long again...) I'm gonna go now.

goodnight nobody. goodnight mush.