i don't care/if i break/at least i'll be feeling something

life lately has been...interesting, to say the least. I've started helping a friend with a non-profit missions-focused business, as his administrative assistant, and that's basically taking up time like a part-time job. I'm working hard now to get read for India - finishing up my TEFL certification, and trying to get a handle on Hindi. that's proving to be difficult. I'll be gone the entire month of July, so I'm working to wrap things up before I leave for hither and yon. and of course my piano teacher wants a little bit more than I'm giving (and rightfully so). thank goodness I had the weekend off of worship team for Father's Day.

Speaking of which, we were all incredibly pathetic - my worship team, I mean. I'm the only female instrumentalist, so it's me and a bunch of guys.....and we missed playing together extremely lots. I ended up hanging out with them almost as much as if I was actually on the team this weekend - went to dinner after the Saturday service and hung out, and then came to both services on Sunday. My dad was involved with a bunch of stuff for Father's Day (it's a big deal at our church) so I stayed until about 2:00 helping everyone tear stuff down and clean up. I'm not looking forward to missing three whole rotations in a row for Camp Hope and India. that's gonna suck. I think we all decided that as cool as it looks having all guys on the stage for Father's Day, we just missed each other too much. :P

*sigh* it was such a crazy emotional weekend, and I didn't have much sleep either, which I'm sure didn't help. that's my fault of course. my friend's 21st birthday was on Saturday, and I didn't have to drive all the way to Enumclaw just to hang out with my worship team. but I did (the 17-year old reasoning took over), and stayed out there till 10:30 or so, and then got up pretty early for church. and had a sleepover the next night. and by that point had my heart so confusing my head that I needed to journal for over an hour to try and straighten things out.

which for some reason didn't work. so I did it again last night, and it seemed to help somewhat. drat being 17....it comes with too much emotional crap. the weird thing is, I'm not happy or sad. I'm almost frustrated but at the same time I'm ecstatic. it's very confusing. I get exhausted but then I have these bursts of energy. I don't know anymore. the overall tendency is towards happiness though, so that's good. there's a lot of good things going on right now. it's just...some of it is really hard to deal with. good but hard. like tough love.

kind of.

today, however, I am excited. I only have one lesson to teach today instead of four! and then friends from church are coming over for dinner. it's the couple that's going to the college I want to go to, in Minnesota. well, they aren't going there right now, because they're getting ready to do their internship in January. so they are home, and we're having them over for dinner. which should be fun.

and I get to sleep in tomorrow.

oofff. I am hungry, and generally grumpiness follows quickly. so I'd better go now. just thought you guys might like an update. :)