today I said no to something - something I really wanted to do.
somehow, though I'm really bummed, it felt good.
and the strange part is, I could've done it.
I'm so used to saying no to things I honestly can't do. like the sleepover last weekend - I wanted to come, but I think being out of the country made that a little bit of an impossibility.
but I rarely ever say no to something I could make work. sometimes it requires a little bit of a schedule change, shifting something around to squeeze it in, but I make it work.
today, I knew I shouldn't go. sure it was far away, but I could've driven. my car needs gas, but I just got paid, and more than I expected. I have homework, but I could've gotten it done in time.
it was with a friend I hardly ever see. as far as my brain's concerned, I should've gone.
but I realized, FINALLY, that I would be shortchanging everyone. I know I would've had fun, but I would have run myself ragged trying to get everything done in time. I have several friends I want to call and catch up with tonight, and I would have called them and talked for just a few minutes each. and, also importantly, I know it's just not healthy for me.
even with tomorrow off - I shouldn't be rushing through my homework, spending money I don't need to spend, and brushing by all of my other friends with a hurried "hi" just to try and make this one thing fit in. if it's not the right piece of the puzzle, it shouldn't go in at all.
last Thursday, I skipped youth group for about the fourth week in a row. and I did it to spend time at home, a family night.
and, amazingly, we had fun. we played cards, and I got high on sugar, and we just hung out together. we haven't done that in I don't know how long.
last Sunday, I went to a play, by myself. I'm glad I went, but in hindsight, it would have been so good to stay home. my parents ended up going to some new friends' from church for dinner and games, and they had a blast. they went again yesterday, while I was in Canada. I feel like we have two seperate lives, and I've decided I don't like it anymore.
so I'm learning how to say no to things. I want to keep up on school, build my relationships with friends and family, and take care of myself. I think I'm finally realizing that doing ten fun things rushed isn't as good as doing two of them and spending time enjoying them.
no. it's a good word.
Ironically, I'm just now listening to someone on the TV telling someone else, "No. No. No, no no no no no!"
ReplyDeleteI have yet to learn how to properly use the word no. Mostly I need to learn how to tell myself no.
I think that, in essence, saying no to someone else when it's something you want to do, is saying no to yourself.
ReplyDeletebut that's something I need to work on too, in the area of discipline. as in...no you can't watch DPS because you need to do homework.
and NO, you most certainly can't watch it while you do your homework.
No is, the hardest word to say, and the easiest word to say.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! "and NO, you most certainly can't watch it while you do your homework."
ReplyDeleteThat is sooooo truly descriptive though. We negociate with ourselves and end up suffering for the lack of the word no.
Also very true, Katie. It's funny, but I like saying no. Not always, and not to everything, but a lot of things like "NO! You can NOT have that cookie." is very empowering! Hahaha It's in the same category as diciplin, (Or howEVEr you spell it) because you always know what you should do, but it takes a lot more effort to actually do it. I hate procrastination, in myself most of I think; but we all do it to some degree. I strive to better myself by saying "No, I am going to do homework, later." ;-)
Jk. I'm feeling snarky now. I do apologize.
I like yes a lot better.
ReplyDeleteI think I do too, especially when it comes to ice cream!
ReplyDeletebut sometimes no is better for you.
Agreed. No, when it comes to ice cream, is most definitely better for you. I like yes a lot better in reference to movies though. I have said yes twice today! :-)
ReplyDelete