he has filled our hearts with wonder/so that we always remember/you and i were made to worship...

Amazing. God is absolutely amazing. Occupation: Creator. And He made us just to worship Him. And even after we blew it, He didn't smash us like a piece of flubbed-up pottery. Instead He decided to fix us, and the only way was through a huge sacrifice that was anything but fun for pretty much everyone involved. But now we can see that He's amazing. Let's just tell the whole world how amazing He is!!! But why don't we? How can we possibly be afraid to proclaim from the rooftops what has happened to us? How can we be silent?

I was thinking about Muslims today. I think God might be giving me a special heart and passion for Indian Muslims. That kind of scares me...for lots of reasons. I don't even really understand most of them. See, for a long time, I've been trying to figure out my specific calling, beyond just country (India). Children, Untouchables, Hindus, slum-dwellers, street-children, Muslims? The list is endless, and while of course I want to reach out to all these people, I kept feeling like something was missing. There needed to be a specific focus for me to pour my energy in, otherwise I felt too vague, too...helpless. Seeing how excited this man from my church is about his passion for the middle east has really made me focus on my own perspective. I have a lot of learning to do.

I keep feeling this promise from God that I'll be going back to India this coming year. There is so much I need to prepare for, and I just think that's where I'll find....illumination. or something.

I could use some prayer for my spiritual and academic life right now you guys. I need to stay focused in the first (what's new right?), and as far as school goes, I need to make some pretty big choices this year that will impact my future years. sometimes it really sucks being in high school. I'm realizing how far I've come now, and how little is left, and just wondering where it all went and how I actually got here. I want to put a lot of focus on missions, and preparing for BCOM, but now it seems like my spiritual life and academic life are coming to a vertex (to borrow a geography term); they keep growing closer together, and I expect that at BCOM they'll meet completely and school will become service to God instead. So much of what I want to study this year is really prep for the future - Hindi, english/writing, reading missionary biograpies and stuff like that. Then there's some other things that seem to have nothing to do with my life as an adult, so I'm kind of struggling with that and what to do. unschooling (loosely-structured homeschooling, sort of) is amazing, but sometimes it's hard for me to discipline myself.




there's another thing too. I'm really struggling with the whole Calvinist/Arminianism/middle ground thing again. I don't want to bring this up again as debate, I could just use some prayer that I'll be able to find the answers I need in the Bible, and in as unbiased views as I can find in my searching. I know my pastor is a Calvinist, and I greatly admire and respect my pastor, and of course all of you my best friends too! Maybe I'm just getting the whole thing mixed-up in my head? Anyway, I'm going to be looking around to try and find out what I really believe in the next few months, so please just pray that God will open my eyes and my mind, and that I won't be biased about anything either.















I guess I should tell you about the rest of last week and this weekend, since I kind of disappeared! My cousins took me out to Olive Garden Thursday night, and we had a really really nice time just hanging out and talking. My cousin had a five-minute sentimental moment just kind of looking at me and we were reminiscing about when I was little and stuff. It was pretty sweet. He's very romantic that way, ha-ha! They asked several questions about the India trip, and I think they are semi-considering what them, or one of them, going would involve. My mom and aunt are still thinking/praying about it, and if none of them can go, then there's a chance that one of the women on the team maybe......we'll see what God says. He sure makes me wonder sometimes. Oh - never ask God for patience. You will learn how to have it the hard way. ;)

Friday we drove back up home, and Nancy and Richard stayed the weekend, coming to church with us this morning. Yesterday we went to Mowich Lake on Mt. Rainier, and then hiked up to Spray Falls together, and my grandparents came along too. It's a two-mile hike one-way, but don't let that fool you. I think Goat's Peak wasn't much longer than that. yeah - straigh up. Okay, so it was actually quite a bit easier than Goat's Peak, but then again Goat's Peak didn't have a waterfall at the top that you ("you" being me and my dad, just call us the two musketeers!) had to hike up to the base of, and then go up on this little cliff thingy with very few handholds near the bottom and take pictures of the rainbow that can only be seen from right there!!!!! Yes, that was pretty amazing. I'll post pictures if I ever can, but I can show most of you at the sleepover of course. that will be much better!

;)

well, I'm gonna go work on my daily schedule of all the amazingly cool things i want to do during my normal school day this year. I start next Monday - how about you guys? gosh, 24 hours is just not enough in one day....