this is kind of interesting

so today, in history, FINALLY, we got information about our final projects. we're supposed to pick a topic about something Medieval from the fairly long list our teacher gave us, and then watch the movie about it, read some primary sources that deal with the topic at hand, and then compare the film with real history....give your own interpretation, blah blah blah. anyway, I'm doing Beowulf.

and I'm actually quite excited about it, except that I have to watch the horrendous 2007 reconstruction of this timeless classic with Angelie Jolie (say what?) as Grendel's mother. (I beg your pardon? I must have heard you wrong.) but afterwards, I get to thoroughly bash it in my paper.

my, rather long, paper.

anyway, I ran across this article online, and thought it was kind of interesting and might be a discussion-starter. read it and post your thoughts in a comment. it's...well....fairly thought-provoking, in my opinion.

New Beowulf Movie
Thursday November 15, 2007
I like Smallville. Of course, the primary reason I watch it is for the handsome young men that star in it, and I also like the special effects and the music. And it helps that it's not a strain on the brain, but, seriously, the plot arc has been intriguing and the character development is terrific. I never miss it.
Why am I blathering on about a popular comic-based TV-show in a post about a medieval-related film? Bear with me.
A while back I brought up Smallville to a friend of mine and asked if he'd seen it. "It doesn't stick to the Superman Universe," he said dismissively. I was reminded of another friend who'd reacted poorly to Coppola's version of Dracula because he didn't think it was close enough to Stoker's book. I pointed out how I thought some of the plot developments were clever and he shook his head adamantly. "I think it should have been more faithful to the book," he insisted, but he couldn't answer my question of Why?
All this got me thinking of how dearly we hold the classic works that fire our imaginations. When these books make it to the big screen, it's difficult for most of us to let go of the image we've built in our minds. Reality, even fake movie reality, can seldom live up to the fantasy.
But in my opinion, classic works should be reinterpreted -- and then reinterpreted again, every generation or so. (I loved Chris Reeve, but that never stopped me from tuning in to Tom Welling.) What's the point, really, of a word-for-word, plotpoint-for-plotpoint depiction of a story that you can read for yourself? Isn't it more interesting, more thought-provoking, even more exciting when a film-maker does something different, something unexpected, with a story we've heard over and over again?
Which brings me back, finally, to the new Beowulf movie by Robert Zemeckis.
You've probably heard by now that Grendel's mother is portrayed by Angelina Jolie. I must admit, the news made my eyes cross. Grendel is supposed to be a vicious, slavering beast, and his mother is described as "monstrous." These aren't exactly the qualities I usually associate with Angelina Jolie. What does Zemeckis think he's doing? I almost -- almost -- dismissed the movie out of hand.
But my friends' comments on their unwillingness to accept anything that deviated from the "original" of a work made me reevaluate my stand. Beowulf is nothing if not a classic. If I refuse to see the Zemeckis version just because it doesn't stick to the original, would that make me a hidebound old fogie?
So now I've decided to give the new Beowulf in all its animated glory a chance -- when I get a chance to drag my big lazy self to a movie theater, which isn't often. Maybe I'll drag my anti-Smallville friend along. Heck, if Kristin Kreuk can't get him interested in the show, I don't know what I'm going to do with him.

created for a place I've never know

I've heard them say it's like a chessboard

the rolling fields of Elysium

you can see for a million lives

the golden wheat stretching into paradise

a struggle, a silence, a whispered "you're home." (yeah, this is home)

my hand glides through the stalks.



suddenly the unheard theme

that's been reverberating in my heart,

it bursts into life:

Anol Shalom...anol sheh lay...

peace at the end

now we are free

the glue. I knew exactly where it was in our old house. I've looked all over - where it should be, where I would expect it to be - I can't find it here. and it's no good saying to look where you wouldn't expect it to be, because that would take me all night long. how does one make Christmas cards with no glue, and double-sided tape that won't stick? I give up. it's time for a cookie.

so you guys know...I will be leaving Monday, for Leavenworth, with parents and grandparents in tow. pray that we do not die going over the pass (actually I'm not worried at all, my dad's a good driver in the snow, and we've done it before). We'll be coming back Christmas day, unless we happen to get snowed in. then I don't know when we'll be coming back, but I'm sure we'll have a good time and make the most out of a bad situation.

the downside is, I'm not expecting we'll have internet there. now I'm definitely bringing my laptop, but if you don't hear from me, that is why. I'll be taking lots of pictures and I'll post a nice long, substantial, vaguely interesting post when I get home.

tomorrow I'm going to my grandparents, and it the "big storm" they are predicting makes the roads, treacherous, as my mother says, then I'll be staying at my grandparents' until we all leave monday morning. in which case I'll probably be on blogger a LOT and I expect lots of activity from all of you. I'm sure you will all cooperate and we will get through this without a problem.

thank you.

*turns microphone off, leaves the stage*

*spotlight turns off*

love is not a victory march/it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

lots of heavy stuff on my mind lately - don't let that studious, Dickens-loving girl with the nerf ball fool you.

I went to youth group tonight, as I said earlier, for about the first time in a month or so. and before that I went once, and then hadn't been for a month because of golf. so really, I just haven't been recently.
our youth group is dying. some might call it a lost cause. I think, like in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, lost causes are the only ones worth fighting for, and really fighting - like those small animals, where the mother fights something like ten times her size to protect her babies, when she knows she's gonna die.
the rest of the country may not have noticed, but we're the mother and about 3500-4000 of our babies are dying every day....and we are legislating to kill more of them.
yeah. the abortion thing.

we talked about it briefly tonight; there's this Sanctity of Human Life service going on in the area in January, and the person in charge is trying to get youth involved pretty heavily. I feel such a burning passion for this - I'm not sure yet what I can do about it, but I know there must be something. a lost cause? maybe. but I know I can make a difference, and if I'm wrong, I'll go down fighting.

why?
because it's right.
because it's something I believe in.
because the majority doesn't decide what is right and wrong - God decides that.



so I'm quite open for ideas, or help, or anything you have to offer. can you think of something that can be done to save the lives of people who are going to be us in fifteen years? or do you want to band together and do something?








oh yeah the other thing I wanted to write about...I could use some prayer, please, because I'm trying to make this decision. it's about this summer, and if I'm going on a mission trip, and if so, where I'm going. right now, I'm actually considering a Thailand trip in July. but...of course...I really want to go back to India to. God isn't manifesting Himself in visible form yet, shouting the answer at me, so I'm just praying and trying to swallow the patience pill He's given me. I'm a stubborn personality with a really thick exterior. I think, if I were a fruit, I would be a pomegranite.






anyway, the basic idea of this post is that I'm extremely tired of spinning my wheels, I've realized I'm not getting anywhere by myself, I'm back on the road and starting out in first gear, and I don't know yet how to shift into second, so I'm waiting on God. but I'm going somewhere, and I'm sick of doing nothing and acting like a 'normal teenager,' so I want desperately to do something.

how's your head?/I'm so sorry/that I can't do anything about it/like I said/I'll be praying/but here without you I feel helpless

you know how it is when you just need a break?

saying no the other day, that was just part of giving myself a break. last weekend was a long weekend, and I worked hard. but Monday morning I slept in really late. part of taking care of myself. :D after weeks of reading only school things (i.e. my history book, in which it takes 2-3 days to read one chapter) I decided I needed a ridiculously easy book. something I didn't have to think much about. and that's the only kind of book you can read when you're stewarding a cat show, because you have to keep closing it and putting it down and then finding your place again, reading only a couple sentances to a couple paragraphs at a time.

so Danny, Champion of the World it was. I read the whole thing on Sunday. and I finished A Christmas Carol too. I laughed so much. my brain thanked me a thousand times for not making it work. I truly enjoyed myself. Roal Dahl is an amazing author. the story I've loved for so long - I finally refreshed myself. when I was done I feel so peaceful, so rested. I wasn't flustered or trying to cram everything into a small amount of space.

taking a break - what a novel idea.

today was really laid-back in school. I got the Monday's homework in music (since I skipped Monday) and actually did it within the first ten minutes of class, so I didn't even turn it in late. Although I think I bombed last Friday's homework....way too many augmented and add-11 chords turned up, so I don't think it was right. oh well.

then in Math our teacher skipped today's lesson, so we have no homework. instead we did test review stuff, which we normally have to do at home. and the worksheet that was due today got bumped to Monday, so I have no homework for the rest of the week.

and in history we just reviewed all of last week's info, which we just had to write all about so it was all really fresh information and nothing new. easy.

and I finally got seriously into my Hindi during my free hour. I'm trying so hard to discipline myself into the person I want to be. it's really hard, but it's worth it.

so I'm going to do my chores, and then today's music homework...and some history reading....and then I think, after my parents leave, I will make a first attempt at pumpkin spice coffee cake. and find something to do with leftover egg whites besides make merangues.

however you spell them. ;)

how was your day?

today I said no to something - something I really wanted to do.
somehow, though I'm really bummed, it felt good.

and the strange part is, I could've done it.
I'm so used to saying no to things I honestly can't do. like the sleepover last weekend - I wanted to come, but I think being out of the country made that a little bit of an impossibility.
but I rarely ever say no to something I could make work. sometimes it requires a little bit of a schedule change, shifting something around to squeeze it in, but I make it work.

today, I knew I shouldn't go. sure it was far away, but I could've driven. my car needs gas, but I just got paid, and more than I expected. I have homework, but I could've gotten it done in time.
it was with a friend I hardly ever see. as far as my brain's concerned, I should've gone.

but I realized, FINALLY, that I would be shortchanging everyone. I know I would've had fun, but I would have run myself ragged trying to get everything done in time. I have several friends I want to call and catch up with tonight, and I would have called them and talked for just a few minutes each. and, also importantly, I know it's just not healthy for me.
even with tomorrow off - I shouldn't be rushing through my homework, spending money I don't need to spend, and brushing by all of my other friends with a hurried "hi" just to try and make this one thing fit in. if it's not the right piece of the puzzle, it shouldn't go in at all.



last Thursday, I skipped youth group for about the fourth week in a row. and I did it to spend time at home, a family night.
and, amazingly, we had fun. we played cards, and I got high on sugar, and we just hung out together. we haven't done that in I don't know how long.
last Sunday, I went to a play, by myself. I'm glad I went, but in hindsight, it would have been so good to stay home. my parents ended up going to some new friends' from church for dinner and games, and they had a blast. they went again yesterday, while I was in Canada. I feel like we have two seperate lives, and I've decided I don't like it anymore.


so I'm learning how to say no to things. I want to keep up on school, build my relationships with friends and family, and take care of myself. I think I'm finally realizing that doing ten fun things rushed isn't as good as doing two of them and spending time enjoying them.


no. it's a good word.

but luck's division is perverse/it seems to work more in reverse

I am not myself these days
for all I know I might be you
there's more than room enough for two inside my head



If you must know, I see more schoolkids than homeschoolers wearing pajamas to school.
And yes, I am homeschooled. or was. I'm not sure which anymore. I still feel homeschooled if that counts.


here I am in the library. I've pulled two big, comfy chairs together and my stockinged feet rest on one of them - Converse (a little rainsoaked) slump on the floor. I'm writing on my math book because it's bit and solid, and makes me look studious. my excuse for taking up two chairs. the math book will soon be discarded in favor of Edwin Drood.

which is another thing: I have formed a new obsession with Dickens.
I know I'll be extremely frustrated when I rech the end (or, more correctly, the middle) of Edwin Drood. While I'm reading it though, I forget that it's unfinished; I read each word by itself, not thinking where it leads. I almost don't want to finish it, because I can't stand to be mad at Dickens for not finishing it.
and I can't figure out how to justify being upset with him for dying.

so I, homeschooled me, I'll start math, look studious for awhile, look out the window for awhile, and then stop the show to get my little, unfinished paperback, "The Mystery of Edwin Drood."

.....then I'll realize the time and rush myself to class marginally late - again.




Dickens is worth it.

the winter is here

I know technically it's still fall. but even with all the leaves around, it's so cold. it feels like winter. winter truly is here, and we in the northwest are gearing up for it. Starbucks is introducing new flavors of mochas, lattes, and hot chocolates to keep us optomistic. winter fashion is blazing forth. Christmas decor is gracing the stores in an effort to keep us bright and cheerful.

and honestly, I'm ready for winter. until after Valentine's Day, I have so much to look forward to. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday, Valentine's Day.....winter is a wonderful time, right up to the very end, when I finally get sick of it.



but a new kind of winter has descended on our country. you know when it seems winter will never end? like - ever?
this winter has been established by popular vote, and I don't think it's going away for at least four years. I wonder how long until we regret it.

is Aslan coming? or do we have to wait a really really really long time for that?

winter is here. but although I'm trying to stay optomistic, like I love to be, this one day of the year I feel like all the trees on my walk to school - all my leaves are gone and the blooms haven't come yet. life is dead, and bare, for a season.

God bless America - no. God save America.....from itself. may we live to regret our choices and change our ways, and teach the next generation better.