that has made all the difference

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.



just since we're on a poetry kick, this is one my favorites by Robert Frost.



also, I wanted to let you all know that you won't hear from me probably until Camp Hope, because my dad and I are going on a father/youth campout with my youth group this weekend, and won't be back til Sunday (all of which will be spent unpacking, doing laundry and repacking)! so I'll see you Monday and 'hopefully' I have a ride in the van...haven't heard yet about that so if not, then I'll see you at Mazama!!!

*deep sigh*

this has been a wonderful week. (I mean the last seven+ days, btw, not the last two!) shall I tell you what happened?

I finished Driver's Ed last night!!! what an amazing feeling! of course, I still have two drives, but to have passed my final, to be out of that class forever and to have my life back is incredible! I can go to Bible Study tomorrow night for the first time in months, I can go to youth group every week now, and I can take my written test while all this info is still in my brain at the DOL office so I don't have to take it in January/February.

speaking of January/February......India is constantly on my mind, and I'm like, I'm gonna go crazy if the next three months are like this! this is partially good, and partially bad. I am soooo impatient, but I am soooo on fire for my calling that I really think this is good for me. It's even forcing me to evaluate my life, current and future, and see what are my plans and how I should be living now to fulfill them.

like, I'm seriously considering dropping 4-H. I just don't enjoy it as much as I used to, my cat certainly doesn't :P and I'm thinking that it might be time to move on to things that will help prepare me for my future life goals. My prime is past in 4-H, and I feel too involved. I don't enjoy trying to keep everyone else on track (which is what I feel like I'm doing), and at home I don't have time to study or make it fun like I used to, with fantastic cage decorations and stuff. It's just...it would be so weird. not being in 4-H. I don't know what to do.

I want a job. I really really really want a job! I want to start teaching piano, I want an income, I want I want I want...

oh my that sounds horrendously selfish. let's try again.

I want to be useful for one thing. a lot of my goals take money to reach, and not having any income at all can be frustrating. I love to give, and to help others, and so often money is the most convenient way to do that. but I know I should be using the resources I have now to give away, instead of just complaining. It's just difficult to be able to start teaching, but have to wait until I move so I can have students in my area. but again, God is teaching me patience.


I really got back into my Bible reading and prayer time this week, which had been touch and go for a little while. I feel like I have real passion again! it's not just a chore to get done that I'm not getting anything out of. every time I open up that Book, I learn something new, and every time I talk with the Father, I feel refreshed. not to say that it hasn't been hard this week, because now that God has my attention, He's decided to stretch me farther than before. and growing pains can hurt sometimes. most of the time, ha-ha.

Did you know that if you read four chapters a day in the Bible you will finish it in a year? my favorite book is four chapters, and i could easily read that in a day! sometimes I do just sit down and read it in the morning, for encouragement. only four chapters a day...



I keep looking a mission organizations, colleges, etc....just can't stop. I wish every day that it was September when training will start (if I'm going this year), but I know September will come to soon. There is so much I want to get accomplished between now and then, but I still don't want to wait!


I got a letter from a pen-pal of mine today who wants to be a missionary to India as an adult also. She just got back from a mission trip to Mexico, and this was a follow-up letter, but at was really amazing to hear from her again!



anyway, it really has been a very good week, and I thought I should post and let you all know what's going on!

Table for Two

If God called and asked if you wanted to meet Him for breakfast and have a conversation, what would you do? Maybe rewire your entire schedule to make it work? I think so!

I had breakfast with God this morning. The food? Philippians 3 and 4. I was about to walk out the door of my room and head downstairs when God was like, want to have breakfast? and then I realized that He had a feast completely prepared in the table of His Word, and was sitting there waiting for me to take a break, sit down across from Him, and actually talk. and He showed me the most amazing things!

First, Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV): "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything in prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

So that guardian issues, the money that may or may not come, the right spot on the India team - you know what? I'm not allowed to worry. I'm not entitled to worry, I have no right to worry. God expressly just told me not to. and He told me to pray, to give Him all my worries and my requests. and He told me that if I'd just listen and obey for once, that He would totally give me peace and guard my heart. what kind of awesome promise is that! I have a get-out-of-worry-free card, and as soon as I leave worry, I pass Go and pick up some peace and a guard for my heart!

this is a win-win situation, no?

and this is also why Philippians is my favorite book. It's short - I can read it through in one sitting if I want to and make a little time, but I have never approached it and been disappointed. I always always always get something new out of it! Colossians is pretty much the same.



The other thing He showed me was this verse, Philippians 4:13. I'm sure you've all heard it before. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I usually skim over that one, after all, I've known it and what it means since I was knee-high to a grasshopper, right? But did you know that you can read the same verse fifty times and all of a sudden once you get something totally different out of it? it's true. Looking at the verses before it, I was noticing how Paul is talking about his different life circumstances. He says he knows how to be content in whatever state he's in, whether abased or abounding, hungry or full, cared for or suffering need. Then he says that He can do all things through Christ, who gives him strength. and I'm totally like, whoa! he means that he can get through all of these circumstances using Christ's strength instead of his own. he means that he can still do what God calls him to do whether he's hungry of full, needy or cared for. Paul wrote this in prison. This verse isn't a confidence-booster for that piano recital you're nervous about Verya (although it can also be taken that way, ex. nervous or calm, ha-ha). It's a verse that takes away any excuses you had telling God why you couldn't do what He asked you to. Because in whatever circumstance, you have to learn to be content. and you can do whatever He asks you to in any circumstance.



Want to have breakfast with God tomorrow morning? He's waiting, He has two chairs, the table spread with a feast, and answers for all your questions and needs. All you have to do is clear your calendar (hello, this is God calling you) and sit down!

We're back!

"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weridness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."

In other words, I'm back from father/daughter camp! and I'm going to tell you exquisetely everything about it!

Friday was pretty good. The weather was gorgeous! and we got to go walk around Chamber's Bay golf course that is almost open after working at dad's office for a little while. Unfortunately, traffic was terrible and we were a little late to camp. However, we didn't miss dinner like we thought we would, which was a very nice thing. The food there is always great!
Friday night is open swim from nine to ten, and both pools (there are two smallish ones, one shallow and one deep) were heated more than usual, which was a really nice surprise. we always get a whirlpool going and this year was by far the best ever, mostly because it was organized by Ed and the lifeguard who were shouting at us through the megaphone, when to reverse directions and stuff. It was AMAZING!!!
Friday night was got back to the lodge, Dad braided my hair, and then we stayed up playing 4-square for about three hours or so. talked with another dad and daughter for about half and hour before heading to bed - the last ones up as usual.

A few side-notes before I get to Saturday: There is this really fabulificent tire swing at camp, and there used to be a bunch of logs stacked up against the tree it was tied to, so you could climb to the top and jump of instead of having someone push you. Dad and I have always been trying to figure out just how high we could (semi-safely) make it go. This year, they had to take the logs away because they were rotting on the inside, and hornets were nesting in them (a bad combination with camp). So Dad and I were kinda bummed at first of course, but then we figured out a way to half-way climb this tree up to a little natural ledge. see, there's a rift in the middle of the tree where it's kinda rotted out, and there's these little natural footholds put there just for us to climb up! So we could actually get higher than before (before the logs were in the way of the swing path)! it was pretty neat.
Also, Danielle is a friend who we met my first year there, and since she is five years older than me she thought I was the cutest thing in the world as a six-year-old, and we saw her several years after that. She moved to Arizona three or four years ago, and the we went to camp in September and she went in June, but the last couple of years we've gone in June, so we've gotten to see her again! And now that I'm a little older, we're a little closer too, not just like babysitter and cute little girl...so it was awesome to see her again this year!

Saturday's forecast: showers with a chance of rain, and rain with a chance of showers. It was also a little drizzley at times, and at other times just overcast. Not too bad for all the things there are to do at Father/Daughter camp! dad and I did the high ropes course for the first time this year, which was absolutely amazing and totally freaked me out too!!! i loved it - can't wait to do it again next year! we were supposed to go horseback riding, but the ropes course went longer than expected and me missed our trail ride, however, they refunded our money and we went shopping at the camp store instead! got a cool shirt that says Warm Beach Christian Camp on it, and also an awesome cross made out of horseshoe spikes. during the day we played 4-square, went on the tire swing, and did a million other tiny things that i can't write all of here (including archery and walks).
we didn't go canoeing because it was raining really hard at the scheduled time best for tides, and we didn't want to go and just be miserable...so i guess next year (we're going in September next year - the weather is always nice in September!) later that night Danielle put french braids in my hair and we sang a bunch of worship songs with some of the smaller girls. Then, after everyone except Danielle, Destiny and Chris (the other pair in our cabin), and me and my dad had gone off to bed, we sat up playing never-ending rounds of Uno until about one in the morning!!! the first round went about half an hour, then the second round I went out first, and the game kept going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going..........................................until finally i just grabbed seven cards and dealt myself back in and we played for about another half hour!

oh yes. did I mention there was lots of sugar involved? and Danielle just kept singing about four lines of the same stupid song over and over......mmm dum dum...mmm dum dum....mmm dum dum....mmm dum dum.....then you have to trill you rrrr's for a very long time. awesome song. we all started cracking up anytime she would start singing it!

like I said. lots of sugar.

Rod was not at camp *sadtear* ;( boooooohooooooo. he couldn't get away from his church in wherever-it-was up north, BUT, the new horse head wrangler dude did horse chapel!!!!!! so that was still really awesome. chapel Sunday morning was about accountability. for example:

Skip (the wrangler) used Mirage (the horse) for the lesson. Mirage is a great riding horse for the trail rides, but he has a healthy appetite and knows when an inexperienced rider is on him, ha-ha. So Skip was saying, if he doesn't get on Mirage every now and then and ride him (sometimes having to use spurs), Mirage will become a real pain and 1) won't be a good trail horse anymore 2) won't be useful for the camp anymore. SO, dads need to be accountable to someone who knows them well, otherwise, they will start falling apart because they'll be keeping these things in them and not dealing with them, and also they won't be useful in God's plan for their lives. ALSO, daughters need to be accountable to their dads for the same reasons.

of course Skip said it better than me, but that's the basic idea of horse chapel. I'll ask dad if he can remember any really good ones from previous years i should share with you guys.

Sunday was also great, of course, but sad because we had to leave. We started with that chapel just described right after the traditional pancake breakfast. there's a special part of chapel every year on Sunday, but I can't tell it to you because some of you girls might go in the future and I don't want to ruin it for you!!! after chapel, the rocket launches took place. every year, dads and daughters can buy and assemble a rocket if they want to, to be launched on Sunday. Dad and I never have, as it's rather time-consuming, but we usually watch the launches if we can, and sometimes rescue a rocket or two from trees, fields, etc. I think only one or two were lost this year, which is actually pretty good considering the weather (cloudy and windy)! After that, Dad and I went down the ziplines strung up across a ravine (which was, of course, thrilling and terrifying to one afraid of heights and fast things, but yes, I'd do it again in a heartbeat!), then camp cleanup (which is basically just packing bags and cleaning up the archery and BB gun areas, very quick process), and then lunch. After lunch, our exit strategy is always a milkshake at Willow and Jim's Country Cafe about ten minutes away, where everyone goes on their way out. The milkshakes are HUGE!!!!!!! you get like the whole glass, and then practically another milkshake in the metal container thingy, for like four and a half bucks, and it's the most delicious milkshake ever......

oh yes, and KJ was there Sunday!!! KJ is Ed's daughter, well, one of Ed's daughters...ok so her name is Kirsten but she's called KJ too. And she's all grown up now and lives in Bellingham.....*sad* but she came on Sunday!!!!!!

then we had to leave. but of course I exchanged e-mail and phone #'s w/ everyone, and promises of "see you next year!", etc. etc. ah....I miss it for another whole year......but you girls have got to come next year!!!!!!




so that's father/daughter camp. what else? oh yes, the house. well ours is on the market, and one person came to look at it Monday, and two people have driven by while we were here and taken flyers, but no takers yet! the house we love so much is still on the market as of today....we are all praying for God's will, but wish we knew what it was! anyway, each day is just a few more boxes packed in anticipation, and trying to keep everything clean. Please pray that something happens soon (or of course if God's giving us a lesson in patience, that whatever He wants we'll be quick to obey)!



You asked for it!!! (well, no you didn't but you got it anyway!)

Verya's cool list

eating ice cream with a fork - 100 points

needing ice water with you ice cream if it has chocolate - 23 points

You kick your computer and the problem goes away - 85 points

Liking LotR and/or PotC - 20,000 points and you're amazing!!!

Dickens is one of your favorite authors - never enough cool points for this

liking linguistics - 50 points

saying embarrassing things and then not realizing you said it until later - i identify with you and we can be oblivious together so 21 points

playing classical music, listening to almost anything/everything else - 48.3 points

English spelling comes more naturally than American (ex. colour instead of color) - about 200 points - you rock!

you think "Dickens' coat" is obviously better than "Dickens's coat" - 432 points

liking cats - 30 points (add 20 if you own at least one)

reading the appendices of LotR - 75 points

knowing when a hobbit's coming of age is - 100 points

your top ten favorite movie list might include: LotR, PotC, Little Women, While You Were Sleeping, Muppet Treasure Island, National Treasure, Sahara, Pride and Prejudice mini-series, something not in English (w/ subtitles or w/out), Newsies - 86 points each

you like to act - 28 points (add an additional 28 if you are horrible but still try!)

play an instrument - 299

would rather watch a movie than read a book - mega negative points, -500 for starters

baseball is your favorite sport to watch- 31899 (double if golf is your favorite sport to play)

quoting random movie lines, even when your listeners don't have a clue what you're talking about - 198 points (add additional 100 if someone catches on, +100 if they quote back, +100 if you quote when no one's aroung, 200 points if you quote from books)

liking blondes - 49 points

knowing who Ioan Gruffudd is - 500 points

always rooting for the home team - 1000 points

getting lost - 150 points (double if you don't care, triple if you don't care, have fun and/or get lost with a friend, quadruple if you don't care, have fun and/or get lost with a friend, and/or get lost in a larger-than-you're-used-to library)

talking to yourself - 23 points per conversation in a week (double if someone replies)

being a chocoholic and/or a saltoholic - 25 points each, 100 if both


honorable mention: liking to cook, having a round bed, knowing the difference between Quenya and Sindarin (or speaking any form of Elvish), knowing how to spell eunuch (and understanding distantcousinofmyauntsnephewtwiceremovedlovelysingingvoicethougheunuch), eunuch reminds you immediately of PotC, grasping the grammatical ideas of the cannibal language, watching Disney movies




guess that's about it! can't wait to hear from you guys!!!

Uggghhhh....

that's what people say when they have to get up early. ;P

I don't really remember much of this morning, but this is what I do recall......



Time: 6:30 AM
Place: My room

all is dark and quiet, I am fast asleep. suddenly, a large and akward object plants itself firmly on my bed, half-rousing me from my peaceful slumber. A cat? No, too big. the akward object begins to move of its own accord, and then starts talking!

"Good morning"

'is it?' I wonder. 'can it possibly be morning? if it is, I don't see what's good about it.' *wonders what he means: Does he wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that he feels good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?*

*mumbles something incoherent"*

"It's Father/Daughter camp day!"

"Know something else?" I mutter. "It's also six thirty in the morning."

*object (which is gradually growing to look more and more like my Dad) glances at clock* "Actually, it's six thirty-two."

"Oh that helps a lot."

*chuckles from various places in the covers*

*object make motions as if to leave*

"wait, stay here."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to go back to sleep if you don't."

a lul in the convesation ensues for about .086 seconds (yes, this constitutes a lul when it's Dad and me, because my other half and his voices are constantly in conversation with themselves or each other or someone else.

"I've been taking out the hot-water dispenser. I had to take out the whole dishwasher just to unplug it."

*mutter mutter* WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE TAKING OUT THE HOT-WATER HEATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT ABOUT MY SHOWER?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!

*is pretty much awake now*

"no no, the hot-water dispenser. the thingy on the sink that gives instant hot water. we're taking it with us when we move."

oh. that's a different story. *returns to half-consciousness*


a few more words around the general sin of people voluntarily waking themselves and/or others up at such and hour, the excitement of father/daughter camp, and then:

"wait, how are we supposed to stay up until one in the morning if we have to get up at six thirty-two?"

Dad grins. it's the day-of-father/daughter-camp-excitement grin "lots of sugar" he says in a low tone, in case mom might be up and eavsdropping ("I ain't droppin' no eaves sir, honest..." ~Verya's other half)

i grin too. lots of sugar. we can do that. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it gets even better though. last night i had to empty our pantry...er, i mean, supply cellar...to see what provisions we could carry to Helm's Deep. the rest must be left behind for Saruman's uruk hai to take or destroy. one thing could not be left behind, for it it like lembas bread to man - pure sugar cake decorating letters and flowers.

oh yeah, did I mention they are over seven years old? but I have free lisence to devour the entire package this weekend, because Mom won't have to deal with me hyper. oh and by the way, seven year old sugar can still give you major-hyper sugar high, in case you were wondering.

back to my bedroom. the object moves again; this time I no longer have the energy to detain him. I feel my light fading quickly...and wonder if my true love will protect the halfling long enough to spare my life. must....have....energy for the trials of this weekend.

i wonder if Asfaloth with be there to greet me, my old trusted steed of years past. of course Aragorn will ride Brego, and we will meet in the forests of Lorien on Cerin Amroth as we did first ten years ago, to renew our vow of devotion to each other. we must do this now, before it is too late.

so on to my bathing and wardrobe. Aragorn may not need to bathe often - he is a rugged ranger of the North, but to preserve the beauty of the elves I must be clean and well presented.

now if only Celeborn will stay awake through my visit...











in other news, our offer on the house (btw we made an offer on a house two days ago on the condition that we sell our house in a month) was rejected, because they don't want any offers with contingencies. that means they want the money now, they don't want us to wait until we sell our house. which is understandable since they are moved out and paying two mortgages right now. however, they don't have any other offers, and our house goes on the market today, so if ours sells soon, we still might be able to get this house (which would be absolutely perfect) if they don't have any other offers they accept.

so please pray that our house will sell quickly, and that if God is willing we will get this house (we all love it), or if not, that He will direct us to where He wants us to go.

miss and luv you all...and will talk to you again Monday!!!!!!!

"Your finger hired the crew?" "No, that's silly! The man who lives in my finger hired the crew."

Hi-ho everyone! guess what? you won't be hearing from me until late Sunday or sometime Monday, because...

I'm going to Father/Daughter Camp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YIPPEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(we are just a little bit excited over here!)

so I'm going to Dad's office tomorrow, and might say something from over there, but we're leaving as soon as he can get all of his boring work done.

and i'm driving part of the way!



and we're going to stay up later than everyone else, and drink WAAAAY too much hot chocolate, and go to breakfast in our pajamas, and go horseback riding, and do archery, and shoot BB guns, and do the high ropes course for the first time *freaks out* (it's called 'high' for a reason...*is scared of heights*), and do put-put golf, and go swimming, and go canoeing or kayaking, and go on the tire swing, and play 4-Square until one in the morning, and eat smores, and make marshmallow creme out of roasted marshmallows like the little old ladies in Taiwan when they're not in the rice paddies, and go to amazing chapel sevices using the horses, and play arena soccer in the horse arena (which hopefully is cleaned and raked, lol), and take walks together, and go to Jim and Willow's cafe after camp for milkshakes, and do mountainboarding, and possibly stink at ping-pong...

*stops* *sees how long she rambled*

*continues*

and we're NOT going to: lock our keys in Jeep and have to fish them out with an arrow shaft (rather ironic as my dad bowhunts), go on the Scrambler (really giant swing over 100 ft. canyon, except my dad will go on it), make a rocket, rescue people's rockets from impossible trees (ok, maybe we will do that...), buy plaid pajamas at the Thrift store so we can both wear PJ's to breakfast, overturn our kayak (no, we actually haven't done that yet thank goodness), get sick (haven't done that either), get scratched, have a cat decide to use our sleeping bags as litter boxes (um...not us but someone else who thought it was a good idea to sleep outside....hello? that's what the cabins are for!), eat canned peas, take showers (well, maybe one or two...I know Em, you'd just die wouldn't you?), get fifty bug bites, park an almost empty truck on a hill so all the gas drains away and it won't start, forget anything, listen to Alan Jackson on the way there or back (blah), bring anything electronic except a phone to call Mom and a camera...

and my dad's going to be a romantic, as usual. and I'm going to feel very special on Sunday when all the dads leave for the surprise, and the first-year daughters don't know what's going on, and then all the dads come back with carnations...

Carnation. hot chocolate. way too much. Father/Daughter camp!!!!!!! wOOt!!!!!!



it's our tenth aniversary going to Father/Daughter Camp. i can't believe i was only six the first year i went...and about half as tall as i am now (if only i was taller now!). and i was scared to death to go on the tire swing, and didn't until i was eight or nine. now I go about as high as I possibly can. and i'm still scared to death, in case you wanted to know.......

I hope Rod is there. Rod and Ed started the camp with their daughters, and now the daughters are all grown up (but usually one or two of them makes it to camp), and Rod started a church last year somewhere in Eastern Washington, and couldn't come last year. *tear* but he's supposed to come this year. supposed to.

Rod is not a cowboy. He is a wrangler. and he is also a really big teddy bear who always wears a cowboy hat and has a deep laugh. he does chapel with the horses and he is amazing.

Ed is also amazing. he is the camp director and last year he ran it by himself. Ed is very laid back, and has great insight into God-Dad and then Dad-Daughter relationships.



ah well, I know you all wanted to hear all of that. but you girls absolutely have to come next year!!!!! it would be so amazing if you could come....you would love it! I will tell you all about it when we get back, actually probably Monday when I'm not so exhausted anymore. oh wait, I just did tell you all about it didn't I? well, there's always something new....


I am soooooo excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Faults

laid bare. yes, I'm following everyone elses' example and posting my list. so, you all know what's good about me (haha, that's why we're friends), but I don't really need prayer for what I seem to have figured out. SO, without further ado, here's the list:

• I'm the most impatient person I know. Life is one long string of waiting, briefly enjoying, and then moving on to wait for the next cool or terrorizing thing. I never live for the moment, and rarely pause to think that the thing I'm waiting for might never happen, that this moment might actually be the only thing I have left. Life with nothing to wait for? maybe this would be a good thing. it would make me appreciate what I have right now.
• I have a really hard time listening to people. I've caught myself twice in the last two days actually thinking about how I was going to say what I wanted to say next while the person I was "listening" to was trying to tell me something (don't ask me what it was). How lame can I get? How much more selfish can I be? Father forgive me, for I have sinned (and you guys forgive me too, because trust me, this could happen to you)! Actually formulating in my mind what words to use, and counting how many more seconds until I could cut that person off and get my fifteen plus words in. God help me!
• I take so much for granted. I feel like I deserve everything that is a completely merciful and graceful gift to me. I don't actually consider what Jesus sacrificed from his birth as a human all the way to his death, one of the most painful deaths ever invented (by a people who had perfected how to kill someone slowly and painfully), and I don't ever stop to think that I really don't deserve it. That God cannot stand sin, and how it must have felt for Him to look away from His son, for the Son to stand in the gap for me and take every sin I would ever commit upon Himself, just so I, a sinner, could be with Him, forever. and He's never ever going to get tired of me! (could you imagine being with someone besides God forever, and never getting frustrated, annoyed, or bored of being with them? huh, try five minutes with most people!)

Not only this, but every blessing God showers me with, every sacrifice my parents and others make for my comfort and happiness, just so I can stay in my little American bubble without getting bumped around, why do I never even stop to think, stop to thank?

• I pretend to look like I'm actively pursuing God's calling on my life, when really I'm cramming my plate full of things that won't help me prepare for my calling, or furthur His kingdom at all. I spend a great time with Him at church or youth group, He tells me something obvious but amazing (yes my child, did you know that you actually should pull down those Hindi books, actually should be looking at college, at specific ministries?) oh yeah. duh. (yes, God, I will, I will). one week later, repeat last week's conversation. It's all so new every week, what should be so obvious, and yet I keep ignoring it just so I can look devoutly busy (or busily devout) to everyone else, and have a good time right now. (*note, whenever God speaks, it's always like a little voice in my head, my own voice, starting off with "Did it ever occur to you..." and then it's like, duh, of course, but at the same time a brick in my face. what does it sound like to everyone else?)
• When worshipping, I give half my mind to God, and spend the other half thinking about if other people are looking at me, and how I look to them. then here comes another brick wall, and there's God, just begging me to let Him have all of me. so that works for about five minutes...and then back to my neighbor, and that's not really worship at all now is it? why should I have to concentrate on God? I thought it took concentration to think about how others view you, but it comes so naturally to me! another thing is distractions that I seem to actually look for in prayer, etc. HELLO VERYA!!!! God should be your all-time distraction, and you shouldn't be paying any attention to anything else, when you're gazing at the King of the Universe, your Best Friend, and your loving Father all wrapped up in one.
• I'm a very big judger (thank you my dear Quenta Less Miserable Tindomerel, for pointing this out to me, however painful it may be, whether you even realized you pointed it out or not, and making me actually rethink the conclusions I jump to just by looking at people). I don't know very many Perceivers, and variety is an invaluable thing in a group of friends, or else we would never see most of our faults!

thank you all for your patience and prayers. you're all my very best friends, and i can't tell you how much i value the growth we encourage in each other! (how many people actually think to tell each other their faults?! most people try to cover them up, especially around the people they spend the most time with!)

There is money...

...in my PayPal account!!!!! Hooray!!!!!!

Thank you very much Rosemary! but...

we still need $18. pleeeeaaaase get your Paypal figured out if you haven't yet, and send the money ASAP so we can start supporting our missionary!

I am sure all of heaven's heard me cry
As I tell You all the reasons why
This life is just too hard
But day by day
Without fail
I'm finding everything I need
And everything that You are
To me

Every time I breathe You seem a little bit closer
I never want to leave I want to stay in Your warm embrace
Oh basking in the glory shining from Your face
And every time I get another glimpse of Your heart
I realize it's true
That You are so marvelous God
And I am so in love with You

Now how could I after knowing One so great
Respond to You in any way
That's less than all I have to give?
But by Your grace I want to love You not with what
I say,
But everyday
In a way that my life is lived

Every time I breathe You seem a little bit closer
I never want to leave I want to stay in Your warm embrace
Oh basking in the glory shining from Your face
And every time I get another glimpse of Your heart
I realize it's true
That You are so marvelous God
And I am so in love with You

Wrapped in Your mercy I want to live and never leave
I am held by how humble
Yet overwhelmed by Your majesty
Captured by grace and now I'm finding
I am free
You are marvelous God,
And knowing You is everything !

-Every Time I Breath by Big Daddy Weave

I <3 THIS SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




I'm feeling very bloggerish lately. and i just made up a new word! So today we're "staging" the house. that basically means moving everything in one room to the other one so it looks better for pictures, haha. then you move it all back again. and dad's pressure-washing the house to make it look clean outside too. and I'm getting stuff ready for fair.

i signed up to possibly do a decorated cake this year. you don't use a real cake, you use a cardboard box, and you're judged on how you decorate it.

problem: I've never decorated a cake before.

at least not successfully. i've frosted cakes, but never extravagently or anything like that. however, my aunt decorates cakes sometimes, so i guess I'll enlist her services. the theme is Dance to the Moo-sic, so i'm trying to think up stuff for that.....and i'm always coming up with music notes and dancing cows.

that's just maddeningly unhelpful.

ah well....we'll see how it turns out. i still think i'd like to do it...just have to give it a little more thought.